When 'why' is not the right thing to ask

Amongst the 5 WH- questions 'why' is my favorite because it requires not just a simple answer but an explanation. It makes every question clarified and verified. It does not leave a trace of doubt and uncertainty.

One way or another, I wish life provides the same certainty or that God would answer every question and doubt. All these years, I get myself bombarded with WHYs and I am struck of how time and again the Lord would not answer me. It drives me to insanity because no matter how much time I would wait there seems to be no vivid answers for the trials and tribulations I or even the humanity encounter.

I would read news about the hunger and clean-water shortage in Darfur, how Zimbabwe falls into the dark era of political manipulation of its President, President Robert Mugabe, therefore, throwing the economy into disarray leading the people to starvation, not to mention the pitfalls of unemployment in Iceland and/or throughout the world down to the corruption of high and small government officials in the Philippines not minding its effect to the citizenry.

True enough that some griefs are man-made and answers can be easily known through change amongst the people themselves but how about heartbreaking circumstances that suddenly pops-out from nowhere and hit us? Situations that we feared of happening, truth is we even do anything we can under our power to avoid it, yet it came and continuously haunting and taunting us everyday for years that neither facing nor overcoming this fear isn't even enough for an answer. You ask why and cry a bucket of tears, you feel pain in the chest and maybe even turn the world upside down just to get an answer however, in the end all you get is silence.

A leader in the church once gave a sermon saying "God is a God of process. There's no easy answer nor an easy way out. You have to go through the process to learn the value of what you are going through. And in the end you will be more than satisfied with the result." I have believed this in a while until I reached the point of not believing any of it anymore. I guessed my heart grown weary of waiting. I've grown colder even to the point of questioning God's real existence. I couldn't find the right heart no matter I try. I couldn't find the Spirit no matter how i search. I've made a pact on myself to persevere to have my faith back on tract, read my bible everyday but to no avail i failed.

My heart is as hard as a stone and as cold as the winter wind. I've lost the heart of attending the sunday service because no matter how warm the people are in that place and no matter how beautiful the sermon is and was eloquently delivered there seemed nothing to melt my heart until this afternoon, I was browsing the net trying to look for a picture of an eidelweiss and what i searched was rather a scripture. It's Hebrew 12: 1-3, which says "Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith...". After this, i was motivated to look and write a lot more of scriptures and stick them on my desktop screen (my unused computer set beside me) and the last verse i saw was Gal.6:9 with my eyes focus on ... DO NOT GIVE UP.

I realized, sometimes not asking why is the best thing to do. Why? Because it is then that we are truly surrendering everything to Jesus, the author and the perfecter of our faith. There are indeed circumstances that are beyond our understanding and the control are out of our hands. Asking why can never help instead it leads us to asking more whys and the disbelief and doubt that accompany it will also never end.

When no answer seems significant SURRENDER IT TO JESUS
... and do not ask WHY. (",)